The Alarm Salesperson

As if on cue (please see Crime Part 2)

My conversation with the door-to-door security system salesperson

Him: "Have you lived here long?"
Subtext: You couldn't have lived here long--you're a whitey. Regardless, my fear producing innuendo requires an opener.
Me: "Yes."

Him: "Would you say you get a lot of traffic, that there's a lot of visibility?"
Subtext: Don't you feel open, exposed?
Me: "No, most of the traffic is on Jefferson."














Him: "It [the neighborhood] looks nice enough, but is there crime?"
Me: "Very little."
Subtext: You need to work harder than that junior salesrep.

Him: "Do you have an alarm system?"
Me: "Yes".

Him: "Do you use it?"
Me: "Occasionally".

Him: "Is there an alley here?"
Subtext: You're a sitting duck Mr. Paper Tiger.
Me: "Yes, it makes for a great dog run".
Subtext: In case, you're not really a salesperson and instead you're casing my pad, I've got a German Shepard in the back big enough to eat your grandmother.